Of medicines and disturbed feeling

"ye????? knpa ada pihak x puas ati dgn produk muslim?? org kita juga yg buat.. halal 200%..!! xde bhn kimia langsung.. tp biler produk luar tu xpe..tmbhn pula dgn bhn kimia dan kandungan2nya itu.. tak pula pikir itu ade kesan sampingannye??"

I found the above statement while browsing through websites that post articles about products/reviews on companies selling alternative medications.

If I were somebody who did not know better and happened to read this fella's statement, I would've been equally emotional and angry at 'those people' who have the 'tendency' to 'condemn MUSLIM's products'. And I believe 'those people' in this context is the country's Health Ministry.

The above comment was a response following a statement by a Health Officer that bans the usage of a product because of its content (taken from Utusan Online):

19/05/2010 3:41pm

KUALA LUMPUR 19 Mei – Orang ramai yang mengalami masalah hidung tersumbat hari ini dinasihati supaya mengelak daripada membeli atau menggunakan produk tradisional ubat semburan hidung “357 Nasal Spray” yang dikeluarkan oleh syarikat Three Five Seven Sdn. Bhd.

Pengarah Kanan Perkhidmatan Farmasi Kementerian Kesihatan, Eisah A. Rahman berkata, ini kerana pendaftaran produk itu telah dibatalkan oleh Pihak Berkuasa Kawalan Dadah (PKBD) berikutan pengesanan racun berjadual, dexamethasone yang terkandung dalam produk tersebut.

“Ubat-ubatan yang mengandungi Dexamethasone hanya boleh dibekalkan dengan preskripsi doktor. Penggunaannya dalam perubatan tradisional tanpa pengawasan doktor boleh mengakibatkan kesan advers serius seperti tekanan darah tinggi, edema iaitu bengkak pada tisu lembut dan sindrom Cushingoid yang menyebabkan muka menjadi tembam dan berat badan meningkat,” katanya dalam satu kenyataan di sini hari ini.

Mengenai produk rawatan mata keluaran Syarikat Permata Hijrah, beliau berkata, produk itu telah dinotifikasikan sebagai produk kosmetik yang hanya untuk digunakan di bahagian muka sekitar luar mata untuk tujuan estetika dan bukan bermaksud untuk menyembuhkan penyakit mata. – Bernama

A blogger posted the above article in his blog, and somehow the name Permata Hijrah popped up thus the comment i pasted earlier.

It tears my heart to be reading such a comment. It hurts so bad because firstly, it shows how people are being misled by certain people who are selfish enough and whose main interest is to sell their products by shouting "PRODUK MUSLIM BERKUALITI" as their marketing strategy. Secondly, it gives a bad reputation to the 'modern medicine' field when people retaliate against modern medicine for supposedly condemning alternative medicine whereas they just don't know the whole picture!

And don't you just see the irony? These products claim to be 'safe from chemicals and guaranteed halal' and are able to cure all sorts of diseases. But when you run a chemical check, steroid is almost always on top of the list of content in their products. Steroid, my dears, is a drug used in the 'modern medicine' field. It's a wonder drug but highly toxic if misused/abused thus the need for controlled use. So tell me now. Which part of this "Produk Muslim" is chemical-free and where exactly is its independence from 'modern medicine'? And the fact that its uncontrolled use causes great harm to the consumer, can you dare say that it is halal?

As somebody once said, "Islamik pun tidak, saintifik pun tidak."

Dah la guna nama Islam, kondem pulak perubatan moden. Tapi tak Islamik pun dan guna jugak ubat moden. Tak faham, tak faham..

I do not intend to be skeptical about traditional/alternative medicine. In fact, I have been quite open in discussing about this issue. It is because of the attitude of these people that makes me feel frustrated.

People say modern medicines have got many side effects. I say, yes the drugs do have many side effects. It only means that the drugs are being properly tested and we are HONEST enough to admit that these side effects can occur. NEVER ONCE will modern medicine say that it can CURE ALL DISEASES 100%. And the fact the these side effects are documented, specific measures can be taken to monitor the onset of these side effects and proper measures can be taken to manage the side effects.

On the other hand, these alternative medicines claim to be able to cure all kinds of diseases and are supposedly free from side effects because they use only 'natural resources'.

Let me tell you something. Many of modern medicines are derivatives of plants, many of which are found in Asia. They took these plants, did research, refined its use, and documented its effects. Take the anti-cancer drugs Vincristine for example. It is derived from the plant periwinkle. And no, it's not some foreign flower. It can be found everywhere in Malaysia kat tepi-tepi parit dan tepi-tepi jalan. Google it up and you will go "Oooo bunga tu..."

With regards to side effects, I am pleased to announce that NOTHING in this world, no matter how natural it is, has got NO SIDE EFFECTS and TOXICITY. Oxygen, if given in a very high concentration can cause toxicity. Water. If you load a person with gallons of water, can cause side effects and toxicity. Yes, water and oxygen, the essence of life.

Nothing in this world, my dears, are free from side effects and toxicity.

Kindly be noted that this article, by no means, generally condemns ALL form of alternative medicine. I have no issue if the products are given a green light by the Health Ministry. At least registered products tend to be a bit more honest. But consumers need to also understand that these products are merely supplements.

I condemn those who are hypocrite and selfish. Those liars whose lies cause death of many people.

I've been in the hospital for only three years and already I see many cases of people who come to the hospital at the brink of death because of their refusal towards hospital-based treatment. I do not blame these people. They did not know better. I blame those liars who have made false claims and accusation, who adamantly influence people by their sweet talks despite being told that they are wrong.

I blame them.

And yes, I am a bit emotional as of now.

change we must..

watched a morning talk show.. there was a slot with this Doctor in (prolly a regular in the show).. his knowledge is good and his answers were accurate..

but..

fluent he was not.. it was a staccato-like speech, pausing after every word uttered.. could see that he had a hard time trying to translate the terms from english to BM while he was talking, hence the pauses.. and not to mention the poker face! ye la, you want to convey something but your brain is busy processing and translating the words, your facial expression will be affected too..

if i were a layperson, i would've thought that this doctor is not confident enough..

the problem is not in his knowledge, but his communication!

and unfortunately, many doctors don't communicate enough with patients.. inadequate time? that's a lame excuse.. with the influx of doctors, more can be done.. if a doctor in Sandakan (with very few HOs) can educate his patients enough, why not the rest of us?

we're putting all the blames on the patients when they are not compliant to treatments and follow-ups.. we accuse them of not being well-educated.. well guess what? if i were in their shoes, i would've have done the same thing, too.. heck, being a medical student and knowing so much, i still miss taking my medications and feel reluctant to go for follow-ups; let alone other people who don't know better!

wanting to educate a patient is one thing, KNOWING how to do it is another.. it's a skill, not a given.. many a times i see a healthcare worker 'educating' the patients but the info is so textbook, i could see the blankness in the patients' eyes.. but they angguk and say 'yes, sir' anyway because they are too afraid to 'question' the healthcare worker, whereas it is their absolute right to know and understand about their condition!

scare tactics work well in making the patients seal their mouths shut and not question the managements imposed on them.. im not saying doctors don't manage well.. they do.. but sometimes it's their method of 'persuading' the patients into accepting the management is what i do not agree with.. we're limiting the utilisation of their free-will, something special that Allah has given to us human beings.. most of the patients comply just because they want to get out of the hospital ASAP, so they just play along.. it's certainly not because they know that the treatment is the best for them.. even worse, some patients who cannot stand being deprived of the attention and emotional needs eventually put their signature onto the Discharge At Own Risk form so that they can go home and seek treatment from the bomohs instead..

...now don't blame the patients if they prefer a bomoh to a doctor..bomohs treat (read:layan) them better..

it's never too late to be what you might have been

a letter from Dr. Tawfique Chowdhury

As-salâmu 'alaikum wa rahmatullâhi wa barakâtuhu

My dear friends, students, patrons, supporters, brothers and sisters in faith. My deepest love and respects to you and your beloved ones on the advent of Ramadan. Like the other 1.5 billion Muslims on this earth, I am sure we cannot wait to start fasting daily and enjoying the blessings of prayer and the Quran in this month. Many positive feelings overtake us this month: excitement, happiness, anticipation of blessings and reward, joy upon meeting family and friends regularly and the delight of amazing delicacies on the iftar table!

However for many of us, it is the negative emotions that predominate at the start of this month: fear of yet another unsuccessful Ramadan, apprehension and guilt. We start this month of Ramadan feeling guilty for being away from Allah for so long; for not having read the Quran this year until now; of not having prayed any tahajjud prayer until now; of not having fasting throughout the year - except for now. This guilty feeling leads to a lot of negativity in our approach to this month and perhaps to the lack of optimism in retrying those special attempts we had made before to read the whole Quran or to pray taraweeh and tahajjud every night or some other good deed in Ramadan. In fact for so many of us, guilt takes us away from Allah and makes us feel inferior and sometimes cripples us to lesser levels of aspiration and success. "What can this poor slave of Allah achieve anyway, when he is so engrossed in sins having done so many evil deeds?" For many - the thought of what we have done in the past - cripples us to what we can do in the future.

However, I would like to ask you all to approach this Ramadan guilt free! Free of guilt of the past. Why worry about something you can't change? It is not the past that should worry us or bother us, rather what could happen in the future. The past is the past - we can't change the sins we have done in the past - so to constantly focus on that for the vast majority of us - is far more crippling for the future than anything else. The prophetic guidance is to regret the past sins and missed opportunities, whilst fearing the future possible sins and being weary of missing future opportunities.

It is as Ibnul-Qayyium said in AnNooniyyah: "By Allah, I don't fear my past sins, since I have sincerely repented to Allah and Allah loves to forgive.However, what I truly fear is that in the future this heart of mine will cease to rule by this Quran and this revelation."

Remember that Allah is AlWadud - the loving God - He is the one who loves you more than your own parents! Have you not heard how Sufyan atThawri said: "I would rather that Allah judges me on the Day of Judgement rather than my own parents, for indeed I know that Allah loves me more than my own parents!" [Reported in Hilyatul-Awliyaa] So overpowering is Allah's mercy that it has transcended His anger. So wide is His Mercy that the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said: "If the disbeliever knew of the extent of the Mercy of Allah, then none would have despaired of entering His Paradise!" [Reported by Muslim] And plus, what past sins, when your sincere repentance with Allah's Mercy would have wiped it away and replaced it with equivalent good deeds: "Except those who repent, believe and do righteous deeds - they are the ones who Allah will turn their bad deeds into good deeds. And indeed Allah is most Forgiving most Merciful." [AlFurqan 25:70]

My friends, how do you dare to think that Allah does not love you when He says so clearly in the Quran: "Allah has not forgotten you, nor does he hate you!" [AdDuha 93:3] If He hated you, why did He keep you alive till another Ramadan? If He hated you, why does he provide for you even when you disobey Him? If He did not love you, why is He allowing you to taste the sweetness of loving Him this month by fasting and praying? If He didn't love you, why did He keep you upon Islam?

So come back to AlWadud - your loving Lord - the one who loves you more than anything else. He is waiting for you and is more happy with you remembering Him than you can imagine. If you come to Him today, He will rush to you. If you remember Him, He will remember you. If you talk about Him, He will talk about you to those with Him. If you say sorry O Allah, He will forgive you and turn them into good.

So start your Ramadan guilt free and enjoy a month of renewed emaan and focus on the good that you can do this month. Learn from the past, but focus on the future! It is truly as the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said: "Verily actions are judged by their endings."

With all my love and prayer for your success in this month

PS Please forward to your friends and family

Your brother,

Dr. Tawfique Chowdhury
Director General
Mercy Mission World
http://www.mercymissionworld.org

the moment

Sometimes we see in d movies (and even in real life) a scene of a mother who has just given birth to her son/daughter taking the first look at him/her with teary eyes, feeling so very emotional..the crying baby, upon listening to the mother's soothing voice and the ever familiar sound of her beating heart, calms down and starts searching for the mother..

Ideal? yes..

But that did not happen to me..

Do I feel bad that my moment was not a typical drama kind of moment?

Well, I guess not..

You see, it took me 24 hours to realise that the newborn that I was holding actually came out of my tummy..initially it felt like just like 'eh? magic la..' that the boy suddenly appeared in front of us..and for this kind of remark, Qayyum would usually reply, "sewel la kamu ni.."

Somehow, i could not connect the neonate to my pregnancy..my tummy was big and SUDDENLY it wasn't..there wasn't a baby and SUDDENLY there was..it's as though the two events did not fall on the same continuum..

It was 2nd day postpartum and the three of us were in the room, doing nothing and trying to figure things out..it was still very much the adjusting phase..the baby was in his cot (that small plastic trolley that they have in hospitals) and suddenly started whimpering, protruding out his tiny tongue, all the while wearing an innocent look..i thought, "uh oh, now he wants his feed." So qayyum took him, put him on my lap, and I got ready to feed him..but then the 'I-want-feed signals' disappeared..so we put him back on his cot..not long after that, the signals appeared again! I got puzzled..

"Kenapa baby ni macam ni? Nampak macam nak makan, tapi tak nak. Dia nak apa sebenarnya?" Said I, in desperation.

"Dia saja nak dekat dengan mak dia la tu. Ye la, sembilan bulan dia duduk dalam perut kamu, mesti la dia tak biasa lagi. Dia nak rasa mak dia la tu." said Qayyum.

*Dush!*

Qayyum's statement was like a direct blow to my head, setting my mind straight. And it suddenly dawned on me that yes, this IS the tiny thing that has been kicking and rolling and squirming within me..this is the baby whom I have carried for nine months, whose arrival into this world was the biggest agenda in our lives...it's him..it's him..

*rasa bersalah+terharu lalu menangis tatkala menatap wajah si kecil yang suci sambil tangan memeluk erat tubuh halus itu*

...and that was my moment..

Today he is 38 days old. Already the birthing experience seemed ancient althought it's not actually that long ago. Oh, well. I was not being as sentimental as I should. Saving it for the next child perhaps? Huhu..not until two years from now..

ikhlas

an email i received from my mother, something interesting i would like to share ;)

ORANG IKHLAS ITU TERTINDAS?

Jika kita memberi kebaikan kepada seseorang, kebaikan itu akan dibalas walaupun yang membalasnya bukan orang yang kita berikan kebaikan itu. Hakikat ini mengingatkan saya kepada satu perbualan yang berlaku sewaktu saya mengendalikan program latihan beberapa tahun lalu di sebuah organisasi.

“Saya tidak mempunyai apa-apa harapan lagi pada organisasi ini,” kata seorang kakak berterus-terang.

“Mengapa?” balas saya.

“Organisasi ini dipenuhi oleh kaki bodek dan kaki ampu. Saya terseksa bekerja secara ikhlas di sini. Tidak pernah dihargai, tidak ada ganjaran yang wajar. Saya bukannya orang yang bermuka-muka. Tak pandai saya nak ampu-ampu orang atas, Fokus saya kepada kerja sahaja.”

Kakak itu sebenarnya adalah peserta program yang paling senior. Telah berpuluh tahun bekerja dalam organisasi tersebut. Itu adalah kali terakhir dia mengikuti program latihan. Enam bulan lagi dia akan bersara. Kesempatan yang diberikan kepadanya dalam sesi memperkenalkan diri itu telah digunakannya sepenuhnya untuk meluahkan rasa kecewa dan marahnya sepanjang berkhidmat di situ. Sungguh, dia kecewa sekali. Siapa tidak marah, jika bekerja secara ikhlas dan gigih tetapi tidak pernah dinaikkan pangkat atau mendapat kenaikan gaji?

Sewaktu rehat, sambil minum-minum dan berbual santai saya bertanya kepadanya, “kakak punya berapa orang anak?”

Sengaja saya bertanya soal-soal “di luar kotak” agar ketegangan dalam sesi sebelumnya dapat diredakan.

“Oh ramai encik…”

“Bagaimana dengan anak-anak kakak?”

Wah, saya lihat dia begitu ceria apabila mula menceritakan tentang anak-anaknya. Boleh dikatakan semua anak-anaknya berjaya dalam profesion masing-masing. Ada yang menjadi doktor, jurutera, pensyarah dan sebagainya. Malah seorang anaknya telah menjadi hafiz.

“Kakak, boleh saya bertanya?”

“Tanyalah encik…” ujar kakak itu sambil tersenyum. Mendung di wajahnya sudah berlalu. Dia begitu teruja bila bercerita tentang anak-anaknya. Memang, semua anak-anaknya menjadi.

“Jika kakak diberi pilihan, antara anak-anak yang “menjadi” dengan naik gaji, mana yang kakak pilih?”

Belum sempat dia menjawab, saya bertanya lagi, “antara kakak naik pangkat dengan anak-anak berjaya dalam karier mereka, mana yang kakak pilih?”

Dengan cepat kakak itu menjawab, “hati ibu encik… tentulah saya pilih anak-anak saya menjadi walaupun tidak naik gaji atau dapat pangkat. Anak-anak adalah harta kita yang paling berharga!”

Saya tersenyum. Hati ibu, begitulah semestinya.

“Kakak, sebenarnya keikhlasan dan kegigihan kakak bekerja dalam organisasi ini telah mendapat ganjaran…” kata saya perlahan. Hampir berbisik.

“Maksud encik?”

“Allah telah membalas dengan ganjaran yang lebih baik dan lebih kakak lebih sukai. Bila kakak ikhlas bekerja dalam organisasi ini, Allah berikan kepada kakak anak-anak yang menjadi.”

“Tidak pernah saya terfikir begitu encik…”

“Allah Maha Berkuasa. Ada kalanya takdir dan perbuatan-Nya terlalu misteri dan rahsia untuk dijangkau oleh pemikiran kita. Tetapi yakinlah what you give, you get back. Itu hukum sunatullah dalam hubungan sesama manusia. Kebaikan yang kita buat akan kembali kepada kita. Yakinlah.”

“Walaupun bukan daripada seseorang atau sesuatu pihak yang kita berikan kebaikan itu?”

“Maksud kakak?”

“Macam ni, saya buat kebaikan kepada organisasi tempat saya bekerja, tapi Allah berikan kebaikan kepada keluarga. Pembalasan Allah bukan di tempat saya bekerja, sebaliknya diberikan dalam keluarga saya. Begitukah encik?”

“Itulah yang saya katakan tadi, takdir Allah kekadang terlalu misteri. Tetapi ketetapannya mutlak dan muktamad, siapa yang memberi kebaikan akan dibalas dengan kebaikan. Dalam istilah biasa itu dipanggil golden rule!”

Kakak itu termenung. Mungkin memikirkan pertalian dan kaitan antara apa yang berlaku dalam organisasi dengan familinya.

“Metafora atau analoginya begini. Katalah kita sedang memandu di satu jalan yang mempunyai dua atau tiga lorong. Penuh sesak. Tiba-tiba sebuah kereta yang tersalah lorong di sebelah memberi isyarat untuk masuk ke lorong kita. Kerana simpati melihat dia terkial-kial memberi isyarat, kita pun beralah, lalu memberi laluan untuk kereta itu masuk di hadapan kita…”

Saya berhenti seketika mengambil nafas sambil mencari reaksi. Saya lihat kakak itu mendengar penuh minat. Dia meneliti metafora yang saya sampaikan dengan begitu teliti.

“Kemudian kita terus memandu ke hadapan. Mungkin sejam kemudian atau setelah berpuluh-puluh kilometer, tiba-tiba kita pula yang tersalah lorong. Kita pula yang memberi lampu isyarat untuk masuk ke lorong sebelah. Soalnya logikkah kalau kita mengharapkan kereta yang kita bantu sebelumnya memberi laluan untuk kita?”

Kakak itu tersenyum dan berkata, “tak logik encik. Kereta yang kita bantu tadi entah ke mana perginya.”

“Tapi ada tak kereta lain yang simpati dan memberi laluan untuk kita?’

“Pasti ada! Insya-Allah.”

“Ya, begitulah. Padahal kereta itu tidak pernah sekali pun kita tolong. Tetapi Allahlah yang menggerakkan hati pemandunya untuk memberi laluan kepada kita. Orang yang kita beri kebaikan, tidak ada di situ untuk membalas kebaikan kita… Tetapi Allah menggerakkan hati orang lain, yang tidak pernah merasa kebaikan kita untuk membalas kebaikan kita tadi.”

“Subhanallah!”

“Begitu dalam litar di jalan raya dan begitu jualah litar dalam kehidupan manusia. Kita buat baik kepada A, tetapi kerap kali bukan A yang membalas kebaikan kita tetapi B atau C atau D atau lain-lainnya yang membalasnya. Inilah hakikat yang berlaku dalam kehidupan ini.”

“Kita tidak boleh kecewa bila keikhlasan kita dipersiakan?” tanya kakak itu lagi. Lebih kepada satu respons minta diiyakan.

“Kakak, ikhlas sebenar tidak pinta dibalas. Tetapi Allah Maha Kaya dan Maha Pengasih, siapa yang ikhlas akan diberi ganjaran walaupun mereka tidak memintanya kerana setiap kebaikan itu akan dikembalikan kepada orang yang melakukannya. Ia umpama bola yang dibaling ke dinding, akan melantun semula kepada pembalingnya!”

“Selalunya saya dengar, orang ikhlas akan dibalas di akhirat.”

“Itulah balasan yang lebih baik dan kekal. Tetapi saya katakan tadi, Allah Maha kaya, Allah mahu dan mampu membalas keikhlasan hamba-Nya di dunia lagi.”

“Maksud encik?”

“Orang yang ikhlas akan diberi ketenangan dan kebahagiaan dalam hidup. Anak-anak yang soleh dan solehah. Isteri yang taat atau suami yang setia. Dan paling penting… hati yang sejahtera. Inilah kekayaan dan kelebihan yang lebih utama daripada pangkat, gaji dan jawatan.”

“Jadi orang ikhlas akan terus ditindas, tidak dapat kenaikan pangkat atau gaji? Bukan apa, saya terfikir kenapa nasib kaki ampu dan kaki bodek lebih baik dalam organisasi. Mereka dapat naik pangkat!”

Giliran saya pula tersenyum.

“Tidak ada kebaikan yang akan kita dapat melalui jalan yang salah. Percayalah, kalau benar mereka kaki ampu dan bodek sahaja… pangkat yang mereka dapat akan menyebabkan mereka melarat. Gaji naik, tetapi ketenangan hati menurun. Ingat apa yang saya kata tadi, what you give you get back… Golden rule itu bukan untuk kebaikan sahaja, tetapi untuk kejahatan juga. Kalau kita berikan kejahatan, kejahatan itu akan kembali semula kepada kita. Kaki ampu, mungkin akan dapat anak yang pandai bermuka-muka. Kaki bodek mungkin dibalas dengan isteri yang berpura-pura!” terang saya panjang lebar.

“Jadi apa yang harus saya lakukan dengan baki masa perkhidmatan yang tinggal tidak beberapa bulan lagi ni?”

“Bekerjalah dengan gigih. Walaupun mungkin bos tidak melihatnya, tetapi Allah Maha Melihat. Bekerja itu satu ibadah. Insya-Allah, satu hari nanti manusia juga akan diperlihatkan oleh Allah tentang keikhlasan manusia yang lain. Jangan berhenti memberi kebaikan hanya kerana tidak dapat penghargaan…”

“Maksud encik?”

“Jangan mengharap terima kasih daripada manusia atas kebaikan yang kita buat kepadanya.”

“Kenapa?”

“Kita akan sakit jiwa!”

“Kenapa?”

“Kerana umumnya manusia tidak pandai berterima kasih. Lihatlah, kalau kepada Allah yang Maha Memberi pun manusia tidak pandai bersyukur dan berterima kasih, apalagi kepada manusia yang pemberiannya terbatas dan berkala. Sedikit sekali daripada manusia yang bersyukur,” balas saya mengulangi apa yang maktub dalam Al Quran.

“Tetapi Allah tidak berhenti memberi… “ kata kakak itu perlahan.

“Walaupun manusia tidak berterima kasih kepada-Nya. Sekalipun kepada yang derhaka dan kafir, tetapi Allah terus memberi… Justeru siapa kita yang tergamak berhenti memberi hanya kerana tidak mendapat penghargaan dan ucapan terima kasih?”

“Ah, kita terlalu ego…”

Dan itulah kesimpulan perbualan yang saya kira sangat bermakna dan besar impaknya dalam hidup saya. Saya terasa “diperingatkan” semasa memberi peringatan kerana pada hakikatnya saya juga tidak terlepas daripada lintasan hati oleh satu pertanyaan… orang ikhlas tertindas?

my two cents..

Just finished anaesthesiology posting this noon and went to East Coast Mall for a walk. Was thinking of treating myself with a scoop of Pralines 'n Cream but changed my mind and bought Chocolate Cookie Latte at Big Apple instead. I think the latte was loaded with too much caffeine so I only finished half of the total volume (wouldn't want my kid to get jumpy in there..huhu..)

Well, that's not the most interesting part of my window-shopping spree tho. It's something that I overheard in Brands Outlet store that intrigued me.

I was scanning through the colourful, multi-styled clothes that were hung neat in the store with mannequins lining up along the aisle doing what they do best - looking fashionable and chic. The colours fascinated me but alas, my physique is not made by God to fit into the skimpy clothes that the manufacturers have to offer.

And then I arrived at the children section. The choice of dresses and clothes that they have for children, I would say, is much much more than what I used to see when I was small as far as my memory serves me right. The myriads of colours and patterns and styles..gosh it makes one feel tempted to fill up the shopping basket with every single clothes in line. This would be the most perfect time for the devils to work their art of persuasion - whispering into the hearts of beings with an XX chromosome to fulfill their lust towards beautiful and cute things.

As I was strolling down the aisle, all the while amazed at the collection that this store has, I could not help but overhear a lady saying to two other friends who were looking for girl clothes to purchase. She said, "Kalau baju girl kena beli yg seksi-seksi sikit, baru la cute."

Immediately, I felt this sense of uneasiness. Is that perception a safe one?

The designs of girl clothings have evolved so much from the past that they now appear to be miniatures of adult-style clothings. This includes really sexy and skimpy clothing (altho they don't have the bumps and curves to show off as yet).

Children are innocent beings and no matter how they dress, they would still be innocent. However, what I am concerned of is how differently people with twisted minds perceive these children nowadays. There are numerous stories in the newspaper of children being sexually harassed and abused in every way possible (and sometimes unfathomable) by adults whose idea of sexual gratification is immensely distorted.

While dressing a child in a revealing clothing is not impermissible in Islam, it carries the risk of attracting unnecessary danger to the child in the current world that we live in.

With child pornography business flourishing, children are portrayed as sexual beings, one capable of becoming the source of excitement and satisfaction. A child is never viewed the same way again by those who are exposed to this kind of pornography. One would have already been conditioned into feeling sexually attracted to children.

In addition, sexy clothing that is associated with sexy adults (who inevitably instigate a certain degree of arousal in those with an XY chromosome) is also now related to children.

These two factors combined, a greater negative effect may be produced when a child dons such kind of clothing.

One might argue that even a child who dresses decently has fallen prey to this cruelty. Then why all the fuss on clothing? A child might as well be running naked and remained untouched but another counterpart be wrapped head-to-toe and become a victim.

Well, in every happening in our life, various parties are involved. The part that we're most in control of is our portion of responsibility. It is up to us to do what it takes to reduce the risk or probability of an event occurring. When we have done all that we could, we pray and leave everything to Allah. Anything that happens afterwards is simply takdir. But nobody would blame us for trying, would they?

Therefore, I am in the opinion that children should not be dressed in too revealing a clothing. Trust me, they won't lose anything. The value of fashion is instilled by the parents while a child is growing up. A strongly embedded value is what remains and becomes the guideline for the child when he/she becomes an adult.

It's our choice to make.

limited diaphragm expansion therefore inability to sleep with only one pillow..

increased lumbar curvature therefore the discomfort while listening to interminable lectures, sitting on the non-ergonomic chairs..

compressed urinary bladder therefore the constant sensation of micturition although the urine volume is still far below normal threshold..and oh not to mention the funny sensation that I get when this little kiddo in me kicks right on my urinary bladder..

steadily growing belly with occasional keterlupaan yang perut ni dah besar therefore terlanggar orang/kerusi/meja/tombol pintu/dinding..

oh nikmat ibu mengandung..

bak kata sorang patient ophthal haritu, penyakit ni anugerah Allah..sebab apa? sebab bila sakit, kena usaha untuk cari penawar..n sbb kita usaha tu, dpt la pahala..pahala kan anugerah..

pakcik..tima kasih..

bak kata qayyum "jangan merungut..dulu kata pregnancy ni senang, tak rasa sakit mcm orang..ni Allah dah bagi ujian, tak boleh la merungut (implying that i was the one who had wanted to be tested by Allah in this pregnancy)"

for which I replied, "orang tak merungut la..meluahkan perasaan je..kan berbeza tu.."

(after two years of being married to a law student, I have apparently developed this skill of using the right term when arguing or making a statement. Kalau tidak habis semua statement kita kena putar belit..haish..)

Oh Allah..thank you for the tests that You are putting me through..when the pregnancy had been too easy to bear, I felt as though You have forgotten me..now I know You are giving me the chance to gain your acknowledgment by being patient and persistent in facing the challenges You have put forth..may I persevere, inshaAllah..

Saturday in Kuantan - a morning of contemplation

It's a weekend and I'm in Kuantan!

Looks like i've broken the chain of commuting back and forth KTN-KUL almost every weekend without fail for the past 1 year. Oh, well. Dr. Jamal said that an alim said that the best Muslim is one who sacrifices for others. So, in the spirit of takaful, i decided to stay in Kuantan to allow some time and space for Qayyum to finish his assignments -_-"

I spent the entire morning browsing through the internet and have just finished watching an edited clip of In The Womb taken from a National Geographic documentary, which was posted on a friend's FB wall. I've seen the clip before and it really touched my soul. But watching it again with a bigger tummy and a tiny being wriggling underneath it created a more intense feeling - a feeling of awe at the creation of Allah and how miraculous His creation is. Subhanallah! It's utterly amazing how we were once a drop of sperm+ovum who have grown up to become the beautiful people we are today, mashaAllah. It's hard to describe what I really felt and words can't do justice in instilling that same feeling in those who are reading this. I would suggest you watch the video. Just type the keywords and search it in any search engine you so wish.

The video camera that they planted in the uterus is simply fantastic. You can appreciate the facial expression that the fetus does and how cute he looks while sucking his thumb. He yawns and stretches and sleeps in a serenity only those living the uterine world are blessed to experience - a world full of secrets and mysteries, safely kept in Allah's vault of miracles. He jumps and kicks and twists around. He practices how to breathe and drinks the amniotic fluid, only to experience a glimpse of what awaits him in the external world.

Watching the video, I had this sense of heaviness in my chest, not out of sadness or frustration. It was simply a feeling of --- terharu (i can't find an english word that fits the description of terharu huhu). I could almost imagine what the 'dude' (as jau calls him) is doing in my tummy. It's just so overwhelming to know that you have in you this little thing clinging onto you for love and nourishment. I almost cried (oh, well i did cry) as I felt the love flowing from my heart to the innocent little being - my son. Yup, my son. The life that Allah has entrusted upon me - a life to be nourished with His knowledge and attributes, to prepare him to become a Khalifah who carries out Allah's administrative job in this world.

Looking back 4 months ago when I first learned that Allah has put in me another life, i was afraid more than i was overjoyed - afraid of the responsibility that I now have to carry. The fear rooted from uncertainties, whether or not I will be able to cope with the new situation. Will I be able to guide this child to follow the Path that Allah has set forth for those who believe? Will he end up closer to Allah or will he be dragged away, drifting in the stream of corruption of the temporary world? Will I be persistent and patient in facing Allah's tests on my family?

All these questions kept swarming my mind that I could not entirely enjoy the bliss and happiness of motherhood, which explains why I occasionally felt annoyed when people addressed being pregnant and having babies as something 'oh-so-cute-and-adorable'. I would have this reflex answer in my head saying, "You see cute but I see responsibility. You see adorable but I see heaven and hellfire."

Huhu. Don't i sound like a miserable mother?

Now, now. Try reading that dialogue with a calm and smiling face, not in a grumpy and complaining tone.

While it's not wrong to see it from the 'cute perspective', it is also incomplete. Cute and adorable are adjectives that describe the physique and materials associated with pregnancies and babies, hence a materialistic description. We can see cute kids everywhere but the way some parents treat (or mistreat) them is just unacceptable. To see how these children are spiritually and intellectually deprived is fairly frustrating. This will create a generation that is highly developed aestethically but empty inside.

Whereas we should be placing the emphasis on the development of the soul - how beautiful our child will be in the eyes of Allah. Seeing things beyond face value, you will see that all the fancy stuff that accompanies pregnancies and babies are just added benefits - a small reward that Allah gives to us, an apple of our eyes. The true reward lies in the calmness and serenity that Allah places in our hearts knowing that we have put forth our utmost effort in doing what needs be.

Having this perspective in mind, inshaAllah our efforts will be more focused on bringing up the child the right way, a way that nurtures the soul as much as it nurtures the body. It prevents us from overly 'decorating' the child. Yes, some people do decorate their children. When parents buy fancy shirts and dresses for their children, it really is for the fulfilment of their desire and not the child's.

When I went window-shopping online for baby stuff, it was me who went 'Aww that's cute!' and 'I like that pattern' and 'That's so adorable!' You think the baby in me even cared? Of course not!

Now when i'm thinking of buying stuff, I would have to contemplate for a loooong time. Am i buying it just because it looks cute, or do i really need it? Am i buying a more expensive item just because of its brand or do i sincerely believe that it provides more comfort or safety? And more importantly, is it for me or is it for Allah?

Is it for me, or is it for Allah...