Ramadhan has long passed and I am fairly certain that what I gained from the recent month of fasting was mostly hunger and thirst. Every person's calling is different in each Ramadhan. Perhaps mine was to search for what has been lost, which I shall keep to myself. Suffice to say, istiqamah is an issue and there is much more to improvise.
At times a pang of guilt fills the heart fearing that my incompetence in religion has infected my significant half. I fear that my carefree attitude influences his perspective as well. There is also this nagging feeling that my being married to him deteriorates his values. Perhaps this is only a rambling of an inferior lass. Just perhaps.
On the 5th of Syawal, my significant half and I, with his group of 7 friends, made rounds of visit to their teachers' houses of their former school, SMA Hishamuddin Sg. Bertih, Klang. They represent 4 consecutive batches. Difference in age is not an issue. They're all brothers.
These people are not just ordinary students in school. 3 of them were Head Prefects during their years, my husband included. They also hold top positions in their Clubs and Societies be it in school, during matriculation years, or in university. One of them is the current YDP (Yang Di-Pertua) of MPP (Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar) of UiTM. Another is already an editor in DBP. They're all successful.
They are decent, polite, and respectful. They are funny but serious where necessary. They are firm and confident yet humble. They are mature. They have common sense. They are very much Islamic. And their teachers look up to them.
Islamic as they are, the subjects that they study vary. Two of them read English (BEN), three read Shari'ah Law, one takes IRK, and the other Sports Science. 'Worldly' subjects do not take them away from their fitrah. They hold firm to their grounds.
Coming from a 'secular' school (sekolah harian biasa..hehe..) i felt below par, really. Although I used to don a 'mushroom tudung' (tudung labuh besar), it wasn't genuine. I was a tudung labuh celup and the nature of things that are celup is that the celupan will fade. Just like Zhulian. It needs re-polishing. I need to be polished. If given the choice, I would certainly love to don the tudung labuh again but the soft and light textile does not seem to conceal my aurat properly, given my anthropometric measurement. Perhaps I should find a better alternative. I'll write more on my history of tudung labuh in the near future.
To compare myself to him/them is like comparing a Korean bling2 brooch to a real diamond. They both spark and shine, bedazzling those eyeing these exhibits. Superficially, people can't even tell the difference sometimes. Both look fairly similar, both are equally attractive.
The difference lies deep within. Only the person who wears these two at the same time will feel and know the difference.
When will I be diamond?
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