love and tudung senget...

An interesting class we had with Dr. Umeed today, on personality development and disorder.. One interesting story that he shared was about a one-year-old boy, in wanting to hug his mother, was hushed away for the mother did not want her crisply ironed dress to be crumpled.. I laughed and smirked at the absurdity of that situation and shook my head..But then i realised how common this situation is in our society!

cuba imagine a mother and a son sitting in the living room, waiting to go to a kenduri..the toddler then runs to his mother and hugs her with all his might, attempting to sit on the mother's lap..this is how the mother will react:

"ish apa panjat2 ni..tak reti dok diam la budak ni..dok elok2 tu..senget dah tudung mak..kedut baju nanti.."

sounds familiar? try to observe real hard and you can see this happenning..

issue 1:
i mean, come on..if a toddler does that, spare some forgiveness and shower more love..yes, kids need to be disciplined but with kindness and explanation..people tend to take short cuts by reprimanding kids for their inappropriate behaviour but neglect to explain the reason behind the reprimanding and forget to teach the appropriate one..

issue 2:
the image of a mother with a slightly senget tudung whilst hugging and 'wrestling' with her toddler appears very cool to me..and cute too! forget about the idea of being a vogue and va-va-voom mom when you have a couple of toddlers clinging onto you..what's there to looks at the cost of love and affection? it's HARD to maintain cun and be actively playing with your children at the same time..i think we should glamourise these moms who take an extra effort to be loving to their children by not being fussy about how they look..no, they do not have to be masam and melekit..but tudung a little bit senget? nothing to worry lah..

"are we there yet?"

Two weekends ago, my youngest brother and i accompanied our dad to a kenduri kahwin of one of the staffs in his department..initially i was very reluctant to go there for the fear that they might mistaken me as 'his wife'..haha..anak ayah dah besar..but because he was so bersemangat nak pergi to that kenduri, I, with a heavy heart, obeyed..

The kenduri was in kuala selangor, which i THOUGHT took a little bit more than an hour to reach. How I was wrong! It took us two long hours and a bit to get to our destination..and when I say long, i really mean a looooong journey..we didn't exactly know where the place of kenduri was (my dad had wonderfully left the map at his office in Terengganu) so we had to keep our eyes on the signs by the road to navigate our way there..poor Imran, who was the co-pilot, couldn't sleep during the journey..tu la, that's the bliss of sitting in front ;P

Eventually we managed to arrive in Sekinchan..the watch showed 2.30 p.m. as we entered the kenduri place..i made sure i was introduced as HIS DAUGHTER to prevent confusion..hehe..

We stayed for about half-an-hour, met the pengantin, took some pictures, and headed back. I could see that the bride (my dad's staff) really appreciated my dad's attendance.. come to think of it, wouldnt you feel glad knowing that The Dean of the Faculty travelled 2 hours and a half just to be at your wedding? I know I would..

And then it was time to go back..this time i assumed the co-pilot position, saving both my brother and my dad from moments of mute and silence..my youngest brother tends to let his mind wander off into the the land of Allah-knows-where..cars and robots perhaps? I, on the other hand, have the tendency to doze off if i sat at the back and poor ayah would have had to battle against sleepiness all by himself..

Being the good daughter I am and the only biological daughter he will always have, I opened up conversations on various topics and issues..i've always been amazed at how rich my dad's general knowledge is..that is one thing in common that i see in adults his age..or his generation, might I say..they know plenty! these are the likes of Prof Nasa, Prof Tahir, and Prof Pakeer to name a few..

The journey back was far more exciting and adventurous..we embarked on a different route from which we came and how contrary the journey was! When we came, we used the long straight highway lined up by blocks of buildings and skyscrapers with tall, skinny trees occasionally decorating the roadsides..when we got back, we traversed on a long, winding road passing through palm-oil estates, orchards, and forests - lush green trees upon which our eyes feast..

At one point, my brother started seeing monkeys..initially i thought it was just his illusion, being the city boy he is..but shortly after, i started seeing them too! monkeys of all ages, from baby monkeys to grampa monkeys..some were just sitting around, others playfully wrestling with one another..there were clusters of families with the young clinging onto its mother's back..they were looking for food..Imran was so excited, giggling gleefully at each passing monkey..my dad further elevated his state of excitement by honking to the poor monkeys and startled them..oh how my brother laughed hysterically watching the poor monkeys jump! i laughed, too..

Suddenly a realisation came..there were too many monkeys by the roadside..too many to be recreational..once in a while you find monkeys loitering, trying to entice the people around them so that they'll be fed..but this was a road with cars driving non-stop and without food stalls or human residents detectable within the proximity..what were these monkeys doing there?

I turned my head to see beyond the trees..i looked hard and saw some yellowish-brown patches..i strained my eyes to get a better view..and then everything was revealed..behind the thin green barrier, a vast area of denuded forest lied still..tracktors and buldozers swarmed what was once home to the monkey population..i felt a pang of anger in my chest..humans, the civilised species we love to claim, have effectively rendered these monkeys homeless! No wonder there was emptiness in the eyes of the elderly monkeys..they had nowhere to go, nothing to eat..there was no place they could call home..the neighbouring forest was beyond bound..they risk their life entering the restricted territory..

There is no telling as to how much damages we humans can potentially cause..in the name of wealth, we destroy the ecosystem..we try to justify our acts by saying, "we mean well..it's all for the benefits of the society.." Our benefits, huh? what about the well-being of other species co-existing with us homosapiens? are their lives not worth conserving? those who oppose such massive destruction are accused as being backwards and anti-development..haven't we had enough already? Oh, pardon my forgetfulness..we humans are never contented..

The journey went on..and I sat quietly, pondering upon the prospects of a bleak future..

As a Malay proverb puts it, 'jauh perjalanan, luas pemandangan.' Indeed I have learnt much from this journey alone. Truly Allah has given us the chance to get to know Him and understand His creations..many such experiences may be encountered by us daily but because of how drowned we are in our human lives, we have failed to connect with nature and observe Allah's signs. We then shall never learn. We shall never notice how foolish and selfish we are..

From this journey, I was able to spend quality time with my dad and bro..and by agreeing to accompany my dad to this kenduri, i have actually encouraged and acknowledged a good trait of his - being a good boss. Sometimes we fail to see how very rewarding our small contribution can be. Everywhere we go, in everything we do there is always a chance for us to practice our role as a Khalifah. There will always be those moments for us to gain some extra pahala. It's up to us to find it..or ignore it..

written quest

I have not written for a long, long time. Putting aside the lengthy essays being written in the answer manuscripts come end-block examination, i haven't actually written anything much. Heck, even the exams don't require that much of a lengthy answer nowadays. Answering the exam questions means writing it short, precise, comprehensive, and comprehensible. The grammar doesn't even have to be correct, as long as the examiner knows what you're saying or, at least, trying to say. That leaves me with pretty much nothing to write - a decent multi-paragraphs-ultra-vocabs kind of writings. Oh my, how this has taken its toll on me now. It seems that I have lost a lot of the writing skills that I've acquired throughout high-school. As it is, I'm struggling to write this miserable introductory paragraph, having to think which vocabs fit better and if the grammar is proper!

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The only way to regain this skill is to write. Write and write and write. And read, of course. And understanding what it is you're reading. I remember loving the dictionary so much simply because it enriches my collection of vocabularies. I used to open random pages of the dictionary on the eve of Essay paper to search for catchy and classy vocabs but useful and practical ones, understand their context of meanings, and construct sentences using those vocabs. And then i'll fit those sentences into the essay the following day. A successful formula this was.

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Now I find it difficult to construct sentences, tie them nicely together, and connect the paragraphs into a smooth flow of events - the smoothness of a milky, creamy piece of durian that leaves your taste buds tingling for more. Oh yes. There is such a thing as milky and creamy piece of durian. My vocabularies have gone to mere basics, just enough to survive the language. My thoughts? Although most of the time i think in English, it's difficult to lay them down, organise them systematically, and convey these thoughts to others in a fluent, impeccable english. It would be such a waste not being able to convey ones thoughts when one actually has incredible ideas. It's all locked up within ones neurons, shared only between the synaptic junctions in ones cerebrum and never got articulated. This is what i call dysarthria. One can have the intelligence of ten genius scientists combined together, but until and unless that intelligence is being expressed, one is perceived as not knowing.

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Some might think, why all the fuss on language? As long as we're able to speak and write, we're okay, right?

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I have always believed that people who master language, master knowledge. Remember that when Allah created Adam, he taught him the names of things? In other words, God gave Adam a symbolic language thereby enabling us human beings to have aql/intellect. Language enables us to think, process, and understand. It allows us to contemplate all the observable signs surrounding us. It opens the gate to knowledge and paves the paths toward truth. Ultimately, it allows us to express our free-will, our ability to make choices.

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Animals, on the other hand, do not have symbolic language therefore no free-will. We might see the miaowing of cats and roaring of tigers as them 'speaking' to one another. These sounds send specific signals, but by no means are these signals similar to our understanding of language and conversation in human terms. It's hard to delineate the distinction between the nature of animal and human language when we humans have successfully anthropomorphise animals i.e. to attribute human qualities to others that are non-human.

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Now back to language. In essence, knowledge is transferred from a person's thought to another person via language, be it any language. Therefore, the more you understand language, the more are you able to understand the knowledge that is being conveyed to you. The richer your language is, there more terms there are for you to think and comprehend further. Knowledge is learned, applied, and passed on. Good language allows us to pass on the knowledge more efficiently.

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It is very unfortunate that in the learning institution, language is seen as a subject -just another paper to pass. Language is not perceived as a tool that connects one knowledge to another. Knowledge is a unified body. Compartmentalising knowledge shrinks our world and restricts our logic.

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Now see how a skill that we often take for granted is so important for us to constantly polish?

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Writing is just one of the many ways language is expressed. Enhance our language by writing, reading, speaking. Anything. That's why i'm starting to blog anyway - to have a platform for me to write. To have people reading what i write is a bonus. May I be persistent in my quest to write and enhance my language, inshaAllah ;).