Long-lost love found

It was about a year ago that i stumbled upon a pocket-sized book of collection of hadeeth from Riyad-us-Saliheen. Every now and then I used the book as a referral for questions that I have in mind. When there are doubts, I just would like to know what the Prophet would have done if he were in that kind of situation, or what he would have advised if you were to ask him such and such a question.

Now the book is no longer just another textbook. It has in fact become a bedtime storybook!

A bedtime storybook?

Well, it's the kind of book you open as you rest your head on the fluffy pillows, enjoying the adventure before you fall into a deep slumber.

Indeed it is joyful reading what the Prophet has to say to you about things in life. The feeling of closeness to him, as though one is conversing with him is simply amazing! It's like you're reading a letter from your father whom you dearly love, who has long left the world. It brings back sweet memories that makes one smile and perhaps even shed a tear.

The Prophet...he's just so decent and humble yet people respect him more than they fear a mighty and fearsome king. The respect is out of love and it's everlasting. His kind words and wisdom penetrate every heart that ever comes near him, melting all prejudices. Never is he harsh even to the animals and the apparently inanimate plants. An incredible man he is. Words can't possibly do enough justice in describing him.

Oh how my heart is going to explode from all the great feelings that I have for The Messenger of Allah!

Heh, now I have gotten a little bit emotional...

wednesday is the day

wednesday is the day
witnessing the miracle of God's creation
bringing glad tidings
those waiting
with hopes and prayers

wednesday is the day...

Jalan-jalan cari jawapan: Part 1

"Uish besar2 rumah kat sini.."

"Hm mcm mana la agaknya eh.."

"Ya Allah, permudahkan la.."

"Nak start dari mana dulu ni?"

That was our dilemma - Mimi, Fatin, and I. For the community survey on H1N1 awareness, we were assigned specific areas for us to bombard with questionnaires. Being assigned rows of houses in the 'gajah' area is really a big and heavy task. The houses are tagged with a 'gajah' symbol because they're mostly big. A few are enormous. None is small.

I believe many of us have this perception that most people in housing areas, especially those with big houses are not very keen on receiving visits from strangers, whom they generalise as either salespersons or people asking for donation.

Keeping that stereotype in mind, we heavy-heartedly paved our ways to the houses whose residents may not be as big-hearted to welcome us.

Yesterday was our first round of survey. As a strategy, we decided to first and foremost mention clearly, "kami pelajar PERUBATAN/MEDIC dari UIA". That was our pick-up line. Huhu.. We wanted to sell our title as medical students in hope that people will buy it. And it worked! Well, at least it worked on some people who cared to first listen before considering to shoo us away..

The first day wasn't exactly successful. Yes, we managed to ding-dong 20 houses but we could only obtain 4 respondents from 3 different houses. Mostly, we were greeted by empty houses with the windows staring blankly at us. There were also houses that sent their bibik as a spy to find out just what those three ladies standing in front of their house under the hot blaring sun want from them. Of course by now most of them would have been trained to say, "oh tuan rumah takda..semua kerja..takda orang.." all the while maintaining an innocent and 'blur' look.

Not to mention, our 'hello' was replied by waving of hands, not because they are being friendly. They are simply practising a universal sign of saying 'no, i don't want anything from you..please go away..'

......and we politely smiled, said 'terima kasih', and walked off...

*sigh*

Perhaps beyond this there are lessons for us urbanites who more or less react the same way in similar situations..

To add some spice to our adventure, we were also greeted by canines that were eager to show off their singing talents, or should I say shouting? As we passed by their 'territories', they barked like mad! The big dogs barked ferociously and they succeeded in creating fear in us. Meanwhile, the small, puny dogs were yapping endlessly! And as usual, a dog's yapping is highly contagious. Seconds after the yapping of the first dog, the other small dogs started to join in the choir. Tak padan dengan kecik, bisingnya Ya Rabbi! Rasa macam nak sumbat mulut dia dengan kain, ikat kaki dia, pastu gantung atas pokok..

Feeling like perompak di siang hari, we hurried away..

Just as we were losing our optimism, we succeeded in obtaining one response from a makcik's daughter. A friendly makcik indeed. She is illiterate so we had to exclude her from answering the questionnaire.

And then we had two from a couple of Chinese, whom we thought were very cool. They appeared very atypical as they were very receptive and very supportive. Realise how many times I use the word 'very'? That shows how very happy we were with their response. There you have it again. Very.

Finally we got a response from an educated housewife who has an over-friendly four-year-old daughter with a sweet name. To Fatin's relief, they offered us cold drinks. Ahh.. icy-cold mango drinks.. heavenly! We chit-chatted with the lady, ate some kuih raya, and made our way back.

All in all, that made our day.. today was the second round of survey.. and today's experience has been more meaningful..that will be in the post to come..

Meanwhile, what I have learnt from yesterday's survey is about respecting people's space and their right to reject. I am not the persuasive type. I offer once, re-offered once more, and that's it..there is no compulsion and it is always subject to their own choice and free-will to take what is offered, or leave it..

Perhaps this is something to be contemplated upon..

There is no compulsion in religion...

...we don't FORCE or PRESSURE people to do things..of course things that Allah has made compulsory to do is always compulsory to do..our job is to REMIND nicely and wisely..it's their job to actually do it..it's Allah's job to judge, reward, or punish accordingly..

Tasks that are performed on the basis of willingness create sincerity and permanency. They breed good habits slowly but surely..

Tasks that are forced upon spark hatred and rebellion..Burnouts occur quickly..

Think about it..

to be a diamond...

Eid Mubarak...

Ramadhan has long passed and I am fairly certain that what I gained from the recent month of fasting was mostly hunger and thirst. Every person's calling is different in each Ramadhan. Perhaps mine was to search for what has been lost, which I shall keep to myself. Suffice to say, istiqamah is an issue and there is much more to improvise.

At times a pang of guilt fills the heart fearing that my incompetence in religion has infected my significant half. I fear that my carefree attitude influences his perspective as well. There is also this nagging feeling that my being married to him deteriorates his values. Perhaps this is only a rambling of an inferior lass. Just perhaps.

On the 5th of Syawal, my significant half and I, with his group of 7 friends, made rounds of visit to their teachers' houses of their former school, SMA Hishamuddin Sg. Bertih, Klang. They represent 4 consecutive batches. Difference in age is not an issue. They're all brothers.

These people are not just ordinary students in school. 3 of them were Head Prefects during their years, my husband included. They also hold top positions in their Clubs and Societies be it in school, during matriculation years, or in university. One of them is the current YDP (Yang Di-Pertua) of MPP (Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar) of UiTM. Another is already an editor in DBP. They're all successful.

They are decent, polite, and respectful. They are funny but serious where necessary. They are firm and confident yet humble. They are mature. They have common sense. They are very much Islamic. And their teachers look up to them.

Islamic as they are, the subjects that they study vary. Two of them read English (BEN), three read Shari'ah Law, one takes IRK, and the other Sports Science. 'Worldly' subjects do not take them away from their fitrah. They hold firm to their grounds.

Coming from a 'secular' school (sekolah harian biasa..hehe..) i felt below par, really. Although I used to don a 'mushroom tudung' (tudung labuh besar), it wasn't genuine. I was a tudung labuh celup and the nature of things that are celup is that the celupan will fade. Just like Zhulian. It needs re-polishing. I need to be polished. If given the choice, I would certainly love to don the tudung labuh again but the soft and light textile does not seem to conceal my aurat properly, given my anthropometric measurement. Perhaps I should find a better alternative. I'll write more on my history of tudung labuh in the near future.

To compare myself to him/them is like comparing a Korean bling2 brooch to a real diamond. They both spark and shine, bedazzling those eyeing these exhibits. Superficially, people can't even tell the difference sometimes. Both look fairly similar, both are equally attractive.








The difference lies deep within. Only the person who wears these two at the same time will feel and know the difference.

When will I be diamond?

reminiscence

I haven't written for a while. I was ambitious when i first subscribed to blogger. I had wanted to write at least twice or thrice a week. Now it's reduced to twice a month *sigh*

It isn't completely up to me, really. For me to be able to post in the blog, the computer has to be functioning properly. Then the internet connection has to be working well. Finally there has to be something to write..

When the computer and internet connection functioned well, my brain malfunctioned..or was at least sub-optimally functioning. When i had ideas crossing the synaptic junctions, i had no transfer medium!

First it was the mouse - it became paralysed and died. Then it's the celcom broadband sim card. For unknown reasons, it could not be detected by the phone. htc, nokia..semua tak detect. And now the CPU has broken down as well!! *double sigh*

Currently i'm able to write atas ehsan sahabatku nabilah yg selalu bagi pinjam laptop tatkala ada seminar atau case write-ups yang nak kena siapkan. Tenkiu nabilah! ^_^ Jasamu dikenang.

I first got to know nabilah when we were doing UNGS in the final short semester before embarking on our undergraduate study in Kuantan. We were roomies for about 3 months back in PJ. But at that time, i was pre-occupied with my inferiority complex, being surrounded by 'original' medical students with whom i could not be at par. For those who had not known, i registered to MCIIUM as a Bio Sc. student, jumped to Pharmacy as i entered year 2 and finally landed myself in Medicine.

2nd year in MCIIUM was the worst time i've ever experienced throughout my whole matriculation life. During the earlier part of the academic year, i was miserable. As time went by, i felt better but i was never truly happy. i'm a last-minute kind of person. i was, still am, but hopefully will no longer be.

When i joined d class with MEDCY students, they're all very dilligent, hardworking, selalu siap kerja awal, n selalu dapat jawab betul. On the other hand, i was not as dilligent, spent most of my time day-dreaming, siap kerja betul2 5 minit sebelum kena submit n banyak soalan yg xtau jawab!

Just imagine how low i felt at that time. I was having second thoughts. Am i really fit to join them? Do i belong? Have i made the right decision? Frankly speaking, I felt more intelligent when i was in Bio Sc.. Joining MEDCY reduced my self-confidence to a level lower than the unicellular amoeba.

I still remember crying hysterically on the morning of Physics paper, for fear that i might fail the exam. I talked to my mom, trying to convince her to allow me to intentionally skip the exam. I couldn't stand failing. I'd rather fail myself then let the lecturer fail me. Well eventually my immature plan was abandoned and i sat for the paper anyway. My grade wasn't excellent but at least i did not fail.

Allah taught me that it is my effort that counts, not the end result.

After being a medical student for 3 years and a bit, i feel more at home. i've developed meaningful friendships with people whose existence i've never realised until we're all dumped together in the same class.

Truly i feel blessed by Allah as He gives me the opportunity to develop myself amongst friends who are very nurturing. At times there are occasions in which my mistakes were being pointed out and I was reminded of things that i have done wrong. Incredibly, i feel happy with this sort of situation. No pretentions, no hard feelings. It's all pure sisterhood..or brotherhood. It's about being successful together.

From the depth of my heart, I feel glad because i know i'll be re-directed onto the right track should i swerve into the opposing lane.

This is how things should be. A friend ought to remind another friend of his mistakes in a very encouraging manner. One should also aknowledge positive traits that his friend has. This is what amar makruf nahi munkar should be like. We enjoin the good and forbid the evil with beautiful words and wisdom.

Remember that a rewarding experience related to an event will increase the probability of that event recurring?

Let's all be rewarding to ourselves and the people around us.

activating synaptic junctions

Gaza Plastic Mosques Welcome Ramadan
August 26, 2009 - 05:29

GAZA CITY — "Allah-o- Akbar (God is the Greatest)" resonated across war-ravaged Gabalyia refugee camp in southern Gaza and worshippers instantly started to flock from all directions.

But instead of the performing the Tarawih prayers, a special nightly prayers during the holy fasting month of Ramadan, inside their tranquil oasis mosque, Gazans gathered to pray in their new makeshift place of worship built with plastic walls and palm leaves ceilings.

"We have rebuilt our mosques from plastic and nylon to keep them populated with worshippers," Mohamed Badr, a Gazan youth, told IslamOnline.net.

Gazans welcomed Ramadan on the ruins of their mosques, destroyed by Israel’s gun machines in the December offensive.

But ahead of the holy month, when Muslims dedicate their time to become closer to Allah through prayer, young Gazans like Badr worked hard to create makeshift places of worship to receive the worshipers.

With no Israel’s stifling blockade which denies Gaza basic materials to rebuild ruined houses and mosques, volunteers had nothing but plastic, woods and palm leaves.

"Our mosques are not a mere building of walls and columns. The whole earth is a place of worship," Bilal, a friend of Badr, stressed, while the two engaged themselves in cleaning and making simple decorations in the plastic mosque, an easy task with no light to fix or luxurious carpets to set.

"If building materials are late, we still have plastic and palm leaves."

At least 1,417 Palestinians, more than half of them women and children, were killed in the Israeli air, land and sea attacks.

The three-week war wrecked havoc on the Gaza infrastructure, destroying some 100 mosques, 20,000 homes, 48 government offices and 31 police stations across the impoverished territory.

Hard, But…

Abu Ahmed, a Gazan elder, watched the youngsters as they took every effort to make the makeshift mosque as comfortable as possible.

But he lamented that despite their efforts, he might not be able to pray in the plastic mosque.

"I've never missed Tarawih prayers under any conditions," he lamented. “But this year would be different.

"The atmosphere inside the place is smoldering hot that I can’t bear in my age and there are too much crowds to get inside.”

Islam Muslim, Imam of Al-Qe'qa' ben Amr mosque, admits that it will be hard for worshippers to pray whether in the plastic or the semi-wrecked mosques.

Being the biggest mosque in eastern Gaza, Al-Qe'qa' used to host 1500 worshippers. Nevertheless, after the war, it can only accommodate 300.

“There is also the lack of windows and doors, the lack of electricity and the problem of street noise with no walls to muffle.”

Muslim, however, affirmed that all the problems could not break the spirit of Gazans.

"We affixed decorations, Ramadan bulletins and prayers on the walls," he said. "We also fixed a huge lantern before the door of the mosque.

He added that their efforts will continue to rebuild even a tiny part of the mosque.

"We will do our best, even if we have to pray at the street."

Badr, the Gazan youth, is no less determined.

“They may have destroyed our mosques, but will never destroy our will.”

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?c=Article_C&cid=1251021160334&pagename=Zone-English-News/NWELayout

truly, ujian kesenangan is harder for us to pass as opposed to ujian kesusahan..

every single day, one is tested on how much one expresses shukr to Allah and how frequently one remembers Allah..how many are really being God-conscious and how many actually forget?

every time i feel malas and actively force the neurons in my cerebral cortex to hibernate, this is what i say to myself:

Dear wani,

you are here in medical school with that God-given gifted brain of yours..do u think that the brain is sitting there in your skull for nothing? of all the people in the world, why are u one of those being blessed with the ability to easily grasp and understand the knowledge that is being transmitted to u?

My, my..it's there for a reason..for many reasons..and that special ability is not an absolute right but a responsibility! It's for u to utilise..kalau u takmau pakai otak untuk pikir, dont u think God can easily take it away from u and give it to somebody else yg akan lebih manfaatkan kepandaian tu?

and i'd go..

"noooo! xmau jadi budak tak pandai..ok ok i'll use my otak to think.."

so there..utilising ones brain does not only mean one has to read medic-related materials..it can be just about anything, as long as it can lead one to think and contemplate..

happy thinking ;)

a dilemma

Last weekend was the beginning of Ramadhan. I went back to KL (as usual) to celebrate the first day of Ramadhan with my family and beloved husband. Being married means you have an extra family. Being the good couple we are (^_^), we always try to be fair as much as possible in going back to our parents’ homes. Their homes are ours, too, anyway. I always believe that this is a very crucial part of married life - to ensure that both sides get equal share. We women have to make sure that we don't get greedy and keep our husbands to ourselves only. Kesian kat family diorang.

To be fair to both sides, we decided that we would sahur in Maluri (my place) on Saturday and then commute to Klang (qayyum's place) after Subuh. Berbuka will be in Klang. The following sahur would be in Klang and after Subuh we'd be heading back to Maluri. So all in all, both sides would get approximately 24 hours of us. Sounds tiring? Heheh. At some point, you'll get used to it.

Traveling from Maluri to Klang means having to use the KTM Komuter. The trains to Klang has had a bad reputation amongst us because of their frequent delays. Alhamdulillah, their system worked well that weekend and there were no delays of trains. Otherwise, our pahala puasa would surely be at risk of being deducted! Or come to look at it from a different angle, it could have actually opened an avenue for us to collect extra pahala puasa. Ain't life easy?

On Sunday before going back to Maluri, we had a couple of pit-stops to go. The first stop was Pekeliling to purchase the bus ticket for me to return to Kuantan later that evening. Next was Pustaka Mukmin in Jalan Tar for Qayyum to buy several Law textbooks. From Klang to Pekeliling to Jalan Tar to Maluri, we utilised the KTM Komuter, Monorel, and STAR LRT.

So there we were, the two of us with the backpacks on our back in the midst of hustle and bustle of a city life. Throngs of people crowded the train station, fighting silently for seats. Streams of cars lined the busy roads, polluting the air with fumes of smoke rich with carbon monoxide. People of young and old, rich and poor, citizens and foreigners appeared from every nook and cranny of the city. Nobody seemed to be withheld by the hunger and thirst of Ramadhan. Life went on as usual.

Students are a common sight in KL, especially in the areas of KL Sentral and Jalan Tar. One could easily identify them from the way they dress, the looks on their face, and the bags they carry on their back - just like we did. So in a glimpse from afar, we would be perceived as two students walking about aimlessly in the morning of Ramadhan.

Suddenly a thought striked me...

Picture this: Two Muslim students of opposing genders holding hands, walking about in Jalan Tar laughing gleefully at one another's jokes..in the train they sit very closely with their arms hooked together, conversing endlessly..

hey, isn't this Ramadhan?

and they have the audacity to act shamelessly in public in the midst of Ramadhan???

Tak puasa ke diorang tu? Bulan puasa pun boleh lagi nak buat maksiat?? ish2..

If you were a person, a stranger, you wouldnt have known that we're actually already married, would you? And the thoughts above would easily be played in your mind. It would be much different if I were a person who wears tudung labuh or tudung 60" because then people would be kinder and immediately guessed that we're married. But I wore a blouse and a pants and a 45" tudung. I was modest and covered. Yet I bore a typical student appearance, an appearance that wouldn't instigate people's mind to think that perhaps this girl is already married.

This is nobody's fault to blame. But it made me feel uneasy..

Uneasy because we could easily tarnish Islam's reputation by 'portraying' ourselves as Muslims who don't know better, who couldn't care less. Uneasy because we could be wrongly exemplified as Muslims who are not married but are cool with holding hands thereby acknowledging this act. It's a dilemma, people. A dilemma that has been unjustly imposed on us. At least on me.

I wanted to get married to shoo away fitnah yet fitnah is what I can easily create in a wrong place at a wrong time. I have never really thought about this until yesterday.

It's unfair, really. This generalisation is inaccurate. And bersangka baik is all that it takes to prevent such misunderstanding. But bersangka baik is hard when it is so obvious that there are MANY unmarried youngsters who do not observe rightful muamalah. Again, it's a dilemma!

Do I start wearing a larger-sized tudung? Or do I start wearing a flowery mak-mak blouse/dress to make me look twenty years older? Should do I colour my fingers with henna and flash my blaring-red fingers to signify my status as a married person? Sometimes I simply feel like wearing a tag with big letters spelling WE'RE MARRIED..